Finding the Best Therapist for Your Child's Emotional Wellbeing
- Jaye Kelly-Johnston
- Oct 25
- 9 min read
Choosing the Right Therapist for Your Child
If you're a parent worried about your child's mood, behavior, or school performance, finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming. You’re not alone: early intervention matters, and the right match accelerates progress. This guide helps you understand child therapy options, how to vet therapists, and practical steps for choosing a therapist for kids in English-speaking markets.
Understanding Child Therapy and Therapeutic Approaches for Children
What child therapy is and when to consider it
Child therapy (also called pediatric therapy, child counseling, or youth therapy) is professional support that helps children and adolescents manage emotional, behavioral, developmental, and social challenges. Parents often consider therapy when:
- Problems persist for weeks or months (sleep issues, persistent tantrums, social withdrawal).
- School performance or friendships decline.
- There are signs of anxiety, depression, behavioral outbursts, trauma reactions, or attention problems.
- A pediatrician, teacher, or counselor recommends evaluation.
Why early action matters: many adult mental health conditions start in youth—WHO notes that roughly half of those with mental health conditions begin by age 14—so early, evidence-based care is crucial. (See World Health Organization: Adolescent mental health.)
Overview of common therapeutic approaches for children (play therapy, CBT, family therapy, etc.)
Different therapeutic approaches suit different ages and problems. Here are common **therapeutic approaches for children**:
- Play Therapy: Uses toys, games, art and play to help younger children express feelings when they lack verbal skills. Effective for trauma, attachment, and emotional regulation.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Teaches children to identify and change unhelpful thoughts and behaviors. Strong evidence for anxiety, depression, OCD, and some behavior problems. Adapted CBT programs exist for children and adolescents.
- Family Therapy: Works with parents and siblings to change interaction patterns and improve family functioning. Useful for conduct problems, family conflict, and parental stress.
- Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) / Parent Management Training: Focuses on coaching parents to change reinforcement and discipline strategies. Effective for disruptive behavior and ADHD-related behaviors.
- Trauma-Focused CBT (TF-CBT): A structured approach for children and teens who experienced trauma. Evidence-based and widely recommended.
- Behavioral Therapy / ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis): Often used for developmental conditions like autism spectrum disorder to teach skills and reduce problematic behaviors.
- Group Therapy: Peers work on social skills, anxiety management, or grief support. Good for social learning and reducing isolation.
- Medication Management (by a child psychiatrist): Sometimes used alongside therapy for conditions like ADHD, severe depression, or bipolar disorder.
Benefits and limitations of different child therapy options
- Play Therapy: + Engaging for young kids; - Slower to show measurable change on standard scales.
- CBT: + Strong evidence, structured goals; - Requires cognitive readiness (often better for ages 7+).
- Family Therapy: + Treats relational drivers; - Requires whole-family commitment and scheduling.
- PCIT/Parent Training: + Changes child behavior via parent skills; - Requires active parent participation.
- TF-CBT: + Evidence for trauma recovery; - Requires clinician trained specifically in trauma-focused modalities.
- Group Therapy: + Cost-effective; - Less individualized.
- Medication: + Rapid symptom relief for some disorders; - Side effects, requires medical follow-up and often works best coupled with therapy.
Transition: Now that you know the major options, let's cover practical steps for finding a child therapist and matching therapy type to your child’s needs.
How to Find a Child Therapist: Practical Steps
Where to look: referrals, schools, pediatricians, online directories
Start with trusted local sources:
- Pediatrician or family doctor: may refer a child psychologist, psychiatrist, or licensed therapist.
- School counselor, psychologist, or special education coordinator: can recommend providers and suggest school-based supports.
- Referrals from other parents, parent support groups, or community centers.
- Professional directories: [American Psychological Association (APA) Find a Psychologist] [Association for Play Therapy], [Psychology Today Therapist Directory], and state licensure boards.
- Insurance provider directory and Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs).
- Teletherapy platforms: many therapists now offer secure online sessions across states and provinces; this expands access.
Using reviews and credentials to narrow options when finding a child therapist
- Prioritize credentials and licensure (see next section) over star-rating alone.
- Read clinician bios: look for experience with your child’s age and issue (e.g., anxiety, ADHD, trauma).
- Check reviews for themes (empathy, reliability, communication) rather than one-off comments.
- Confirm the clinician accepts your insurance or offers sliding-scale fees.
- Ask about telehealth options and confidentiality practices.
Matching therapy type to your child’s needs: factors to consider
Consider these factors when matching therapy modality to need:
- Child’s age and language ability (play therapy for preschoolers; CBT for school-age children).
- Primary concern (trauma → TF-CBT; disruptive behavior → PCIT/parent training).
- Family capacity for involvement (if parents can’t commit weekly coaching, prioritize therapies needing less parent time).
- Insurance coverage or budget constraints.
- Urgency and severity (for safety concerns or suicidal ideation, seek emergency pediatric psychiatric care immediately).
Transition: Once you have a short list, dig into therapist qualifications—what matters most for children.
Therapist Qualifications for Children: What Really Matters
Licenses, certifications, and specialized training for working with kids
Look for licensed professionals with pediatric experience:
- Licensed Psychologist (PhD or PsyD) — doctoral training, psychological testing, evidence-based therapy.
- Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW/LMSW) — therapy and case management skills.
- Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC, LMFT for marriage and family therapists) — provide therapy with varying training backgrounds.
- Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist (MD) — can prescribe medication and manage complex psychiatric needs.
- Certification and specialized training: Play Therapy Credential (Registered Play Therapist, RPT), TF-CBT certification, PCIT certification, Board Certification in Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies, etc.
- For autism interventions: Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) for ABA.
Experience with specific issues (anxiety, ADHD, trauma) and age groups
- Ask how many cases the therapist has treated that are similar to yours and request outcome examples (anonymized).
- Age-specific experience matters: working with toddlers requires different skills than adolescents.
- Verify if the clinician conducts and interprets standardized assessments (e.g., Conners for ADHD, anxiety scales) when appropriate.
Red flags and best practices for verifying therapist qualifications for children
Red flags:
- No verifiable license or inability to provide license number.
- Promises of rapid cures or guaranteed outcomes.
- Overemphasis on one treatment approach for all problems.
- Inadequate parent involvement when parent training is evidence-based.
Best practices:
- Verify license via your state/provincial licensing board website.
- Request references or outcome descriptions (anonymized).
- Ensure the clinician provides clear session plans, progress measurement, and transition planning.
- Confirm mandatory reporting and emergency procedures.
Transition: After checking credentials, you need a process to assess fit and logistics—covered next.
How to Choose a Therapist for Kids: Decision Criteria and Process
Assessing fit: personality, cultural competence, and therapeutic approach
- Personality fit: Does your child feel safe and comfortable with the therapist? A warm, patient clinician may work better with young children.
- Cultural competence: Look for clinicians who respect your family’s language, culture, and values—ask about experience with similar cultural backgrounds.
- Therapeutic approach alignment: If evidence-based care is important to you, prioritize therapists who explain why they selected a treatment and include measurable goals.
> Tip: Parents often report that the child’s comfort during an initial meeting is the single best predictor of ongoing engagement.
Practical considerations: location, session format, frequency, and insurance
- Location & logistics: Is the clinic close to home or school? Are evening or weekend appointments available?
- Format: In-person vs. telehealth—many children do well with video sessions; others need in-person, especially for play-based therapy.
- Frequency: Typical child therapy ranges from weekly to biweekly. Parent coaching models may require more frequent but shorter sessions.
- Payment and insurance: Confirm coverage, co-pay, and cancellation policy. If paying out-of-pocket, ask about sliding-scale options.
Best practices for selecting a therapist and creating a trial period
- Narrow to 2–3 clinicians and schedule initial consultations (often 15–30 minutes).
- Set expectations: agree on goals, timeframes, and measurement methods.
- Create a trial period (e.g., 6–8 weeks) with agreed review points and criteria for success.
- If no progress or poor fit after the trial, consider a second opinion or a different modality.
Transition: To help during those consultations, below are specific questions to ask child therapist and a sample conversation guide.
Questions to Ask Child Therapist: Sample Conversation Guide
Initial intake questions about approach, goals, and expected outcomes
- "What therapeutic approaches do you use with children my child's age?"
- "Why do you recommend this approach for my child's concerns?"
- "What are realistic goals and timelines for therapy?"
- "How do you involve parents/caregivers in treatment?"
Questions about assessment, measurement of progress, and parent involvement
- "Will you conduct standardized assessments, and how will those inform treatment?"
- "How will we measure progress (behavior logs, rating scales, school reports)?"
- "How often will you meet with me to discuss progress?"
- "What homework or parent coaching will you assign?"
Discussing confidentiality, emergency procedures, and transition plans
- "How do you handle confidentiality with minors? What will you share with me?"
- "What are your procedures for emergencies or safety concerns (after-hours contact, crisis plan)?"
- "If my child finishes therapy or needs a higher level of care, what is the transition plan?"
Sample intake script (use or adapt):
Parent: "Thank you for meeting us. Can you briefly describe your experience working with 8– to 10-year-olds who have anxiety?"
Therapist: [Describes training, number of similar cases, and approach]
Parent: "What would a typical first 8 weeks look like, and how will we know if it's working?"
Therapist: [Explains goals, measurement tools, and parent involvement]
Transition: After an intake, you’ll choose a therapy plan and decide whether individual, group, or family therapy is best for your child.
Child Therapy Options: Tailoring the Plan and Involving the Family
Individual vs. group therapy vs. family therapy: pros and cons
- Individual Therapy
- Pros: Highly individualized, privacy, focus on personal coping skills.
- Cons: More costly, less peer-based learning.
- Group Therapy
- Pros: Builds social skills, cost-effective, normalizes experiences.
- Cons: Less individualized, group dynamics vary.
- Family Therapy
- Pros: Addresses relational patterns, improves communication, aligns parenting.
- Cons: Requires multiple participants; scheduling complexity.
Choosing the right format depends on goals: individual therapy for internalizing disorders, family therapy for parent-child conflict, group therapy for social skills or peer-related issues.
Integrating school and community supports with therapy
- Share releases of information so therapists can coordinate with school counselors or special educators.
- Create 504 plans or IEPs if needed for academic supports.
- Use community resources (after-school programs, parent workshops) to reinforce skills.
- Maintain ongoing communication between therapist and school (with consent) for consistent strategies.
Adapting the plan over time and when to seek a second opinion
- Re-evaluate every 6–8 weeks: are goals being met? Adjust frequency, modality, or approach as needed.
- Seek a second opinion if you see no progress after a reasonable trial (unless severity or comorbidity suggests longer intervention), or if you have ethical concerns.
- Document progress and decisions to help with transitions between providers.
Transition: Let’s recap the key steps and give you a practical starting checklist.
Conclusion
Recap of key steps for choosing the right therapist for your child
- Understand the therapeutic approaches available and how they map to your child’s needs.
- Use trusted sources (pediatricians, schools, professional directories) when finding a child therapist.
- Verify therapist qualifications and experience with relevant issues and age groups.
- Assess fit through personality, cultural competence, and practical logistics.
- Create a trial period with measurable goals and regular reviews.
Encouragement to prioritize fit, qualifications, and clear communication
Choosing a therapist is part art and part science: prioritize a clinician who is qualified, communicates clearly, includes parents appropriately, and with whom your child feels safe. Fit and trust matter as much as technical skill.
Next steps: initial checklist for parents ready to begin the search
- Gather brief notes on concerns, duration, and examples of behavior or symptoms.
- Contact your pediatrician and request referrals.
- Check your insurance and narrow a list of 2–3 providers.
- Schedule initial consultations and use the sample questions above.
- Agree on a 6–8 week trial with measurable goals and a review appointment.
Practical takeaway: Start small and move deliberately. A clear plan and an informed trial period make it easier to know whether a therapist is the right match.
Call to action: Ready to begin? Make a short list of symptoms and three preferred times for appointments, then call your pediatrician or use a trusted directory today. If you’d like, I can help draft an email or script to request referrals or a consultation—tell me which option you prefer.
Sources and further reading
- American Psychological Association — Finding a Psychologist:
Comments